Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
