How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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