please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
