I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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