saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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