can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
