I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
