i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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