Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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