He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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