I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
