Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
