He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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