Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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