just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
