I'm gonna have a badass scar
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
