Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
