i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
