my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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