i barfeds in our rink
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
