Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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