hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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