I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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