What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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