got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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