i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I stole a fireplace last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh god it's open bar.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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