i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
