Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
