She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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