Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
