my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
