I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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