Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
