Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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