He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
