smell my finger.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
