Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
