btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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