Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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