i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
