Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
