My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
