i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
