She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ladies don't puke and tell
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
