What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
