if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize