No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
