Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
