Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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