Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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